


Control

by ToxiiCKittyKAT



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Cybernetics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hydra (Marvel), Kidnapping, Loss of Limbs, Movie Spoilers, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky, Some Mentions of Deadpool, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, maybe smut?, sam wilson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-06-09 12:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6907873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToxiiCKittyKAT/pseuds/ToxiiCKittyKAT
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"</i><br/><i>I can't help this awful energy</i><br/><i>God damn right, you should be scared of me</i><br/><i>Who is in control?"</i><br/>- Halsey</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome guys, I will post this chapter to start it, and if enough people like it I shall post more! It is mostly a test, to see if I can still write like I use to. So some (kind) but constructive advice would be wonderful. 
> 
> So enjoy

"Steve, I'm going to catch a plane home." Kiara looked at the tall blonde man, he pursed his lips a concerned look fell apon his face. It had been a year since she's been home, or well, since Steve had found her. Every time her phone rang, shed look at it for a second and ignore it. The thought of putting her poor father in a state of panic, it made her stomach turn.

Buzzing caught her off guard, along with the sigh coming from Steve. Her lips pressed together forming a small line, she pulled her phone out of her back pocket to read who was calling. " _Tony Stark_." A small sigh fell from her lips, she couldn't keep avoiding him like this. He was probably drinking himself into a hole. Or building all of the iron man suits he could build.

Steve looked into her faded amber eyes, and sighed. "You should. But I don't think its a good idea. What if they find you again?" He had crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the wall. A shrug of her good shoulder only answered his question. What if they did find her again? But then again, should she be that worried. It has been a year, no one has come close enough to Steve's hideout. The only way they would be able to find her if she had a tracker in her body. But would they really go all that way to do that?

"I'll be fine Steve.." She hesitated, but continued. "If anything I'm sure you'll be able to find me again. You need to be here when Bucky wakes up, I don't want to be the first thing he sees when he wakes. I don't want to inflict more pain and awful memories that he cant handle." Another sigh came from Steve, as he passed her a plain black jacket. It was his, but she had found herself stealing it from time to time. It was just so comfy. Slipping her hands into it, putting it on. Soon after making a small frown, as Steve just watched her pack the year of clothes she accumulated.

Amber eyes dropping to the floor as she saw him leave the room, her delicate hands reached for his wrist. He had stopped turning to see she was shaking, she didn't want to leave. But she needed to. All to keep the man who raised her for fifteen years sane, and for someone else to live a life without regret in hurting her. Arms wrapped around her gently, her head barely able to reach the under part of his chin. But she accepted the hug, giving him back one of the last hugs she would give him. For the time being that was.

Since the fight between Tony and Steve, she didn't think she'd be able to come back without being put in jail. Maybe she was going to be locked up when she gets back. Who knows.

"Come back soon." His voice soft and pained. She nodded sniffing quietly.

_Moscow, Russia  
6 AM_

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she walked, trying to stay as alert as possible while waiting for her plane to the U.S. Taking a seat as she glanced out the window brushing a strand of her medium black hair from her face, she made an odd face she couldn't place herself. Maybe it was the wonder on her face, or it was the bewilderment of how beautiful Russia was. The snow that was coming down was beautiful, she wasn't expecting it to look so pretty. It's not like how it was in New York, it was either plowed away. Or it looked nasty after a couple hours. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she had noticed a rather unsettling group of men watching her from the corner of the airport. Well, the place wasn't huge, she was trying to keep low. So if they did come searching for her, it would be the last place they would look. Her eyes narrowed then, looking at her phone.

With a involuntary eye roll, she had to answer this time. "Hello?" She waited, for a moment it was quiet on the other end. Then a sigh soon erupted the other end. Yep, he was mad. But she would deal with that when she got home, if she got home that was. "I'm at the Airport in Moscow, I should be getting on my plane in an hour." She pursed her lips hoping to get a response from him.

"Good, we are going to have a _long_ talk when you get home." He sounded annoyed, she wasn't a teenager anymore, she was Twenty five years old. She could go where ever the fuck she wanted, even if he didn't like it. "Well, I'm working on getting home. I had to take some time to myself." She tilted her head, watching the men in the corner walk around to sit somewhere else.

"I don't care, you scared the shit out of me. If Pepper was here, she woul-" He stopped being interrupted. "Tony, I need you to listen." She was whispering now, she didn't want anyone to over hear her. Shifting in her seat for the moment to look at the clock on the wall, she flinched sighing. "Someone is following me, HYDRA probably. Call someone, anyone you think could find me." It was almost like she could feel his glare, like she was just avoiding talking to him. But she wasn't, she had noticed the gun shape under the mans shirt.

"I know you think I'm making this up, but I'm not. I cant be taken again, I wouldn't be able to fight back. My shoulder is frozen, I was going to have some of T'Challas doctors fix it." Her voice only raised an octave from a whisper, she was trying so hard to get him to listen. And maybe he was. It was like her body was moving on her own, he started to speak on the other end as she stood up putting on her backpack on one shoulder.

"KIARA!!" Tony screamed on the other end, she just moved her head away slightly. "Daddy, I love you." She had dropped the phone as the men started to approach her. Like she thought, they were looking at her, not in a oh damn she's hot kind of way. Nope, with the intent to kill, or kidnap. Kiara wasn't going to have any of it.

They were starting to get closer, she started to walk away. Making like she hadn't notice the men, but maybe they were to smart for her own good. These goons, they couldn't be that smart. Amber eyes wandered to the next best place. Bathroom? No, they wouldn't give two shits about entering. The cops? Would they really believe her? Probably not. Soon she was sprinting, the men chasing after her. No guns drawn yet, but her gut was telling her otherwise. 

Turning down some back hallways, finding a door pushing it open with her good shoulder. She wasn't going to be taken this time, tortured, and beaten to a bloody pulp. No. The motivation just pushing her harder, she needed it. But soon it was gone, she was close lined being knocked on her ass. Air escaping from her lungs, she gasped trying to get air to come back to them. No use. Her throat burned. A boot was placed on her side, shoving her face into the snow. Her shoulder hit the ground hard, she whined clutching onto her shoulder.

"Not this time, they will never find you.. Well, this time they might not want to." The man smirked kicking her square in the face, knocking her out.


	2. Changed

_Captured, Place unknown  
Time Unknown_

Amber eyes fluttered open, closing quickly at the blinding light, and the pain that surged through her. The taste of iron laced her mouth, was her lip split? She licked her lip slightly, finding the source quickly. So not more then an hour? Maybe two for being knocked out. She could be wrong, her movement could've reopened her split lip. Jerking her head trying to look around the room, it was no use. There was black strap covering her forehead, and restraints on holding her injured arm down. Her breathing became ragged, her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Not even a needle in her arm to dull the pain, what were they going to do?

Taking a deep breath trying to calm herself, she didn't want to have a heart attack. They would probably bring her back to life, seeing the way all of their little projects end up. She didn't want to be another project for them. She started to jerk her body, trying to find a way to loosen the restraints on her right arm. But it only made the pain worse. A pop, and a snap was what made her stop and whine in pain. She wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of her screams.

Doctors soon fluttered into the room, unable to see their faces, her eyes darted around the men that had walked in. One catching her eye, he looked like he was just there to watch. His face exposed to the light, giving a glare on the mans round glasses, and receding hair line. Despite the pain she chuckled, getting the mans attention. Oops, she wasn't wanting the attention from him. But maybe he'd explain what was going to happen. 

"You, stay quiet. Or not, I don't care. We are going to break you, and put you back together." A smirk formed as he spoke, causing her eyes to widen catching a scalpel out of the corner of her eyes. The thing shined in the light, what were they going to do to her? She started to jerk her arm again trying to move away from the men. A hand was placed on her collarbone then, her breathing stopped. It was like she couldn't breath, she was trying but no air would flow into her lungs.

Was she that scared? Hands shaking, her heart was beating so hard, she felt as if was going to pop out. Then all hell broke loose, her face went pale felling the cutting pressure of the scalpel. Biting her lip, trying hard not go give them what they wanted. For them to see her pain and agony. Blood dripping down the side of her mouth, she could taste some of it. But not the amount of blood that had to be coming from her shoulder, the pressure would stop for a moment, then continue. The amber in her eyes started to fade, she was loosing the battle with these men. She wouldn't be able to hold in her screams if it kept going like this. 

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, she felt relived when they stopped. Taking a breath of air. That was shortly switched to screams, they were sawing into bone now, it was horrific. It had lasted for hours it seemed, but it really could've only been minutes. The bald man moved next to her with a tray full of stuff, but she couldn't tell what it was. Her vision was so blurry she couldn't figure out if it was reality, or this was some awful dream. But the pain kept bringing her back.

The smirk that formed on his face, proved this wasn't some cruel dream. This was all too real for her. Pulling things from his tray of mystery, was a bag of blood? Well more like it was a red blur, she wasn't one hundred percent sure. The screams had stopped for the moment, the doctors were doing something that didn't involve her for the moment. But the man next to her had a cup to her lips, it had that coppery smell blood had. Was he going to make her drink it, she pursed her lips shut. Keeping them tight so she wouldn't be forced.

"I need you to drink this, it'll make everything better." He looked serious then, as if he was truly trying to help her. Which she knew that was a dirty lie. Shaking her head slightly, enough for him to notice under the restraints. An angry looked formed, he wasn't going to take any of her shit anymore. He grabbed her cheeks roughly pushing her lips together, attempting to get them open forcing her to drink the liquid. She tried to fight him the best she could. But after a couple minutes, he managed to get them open pouring the liquid in her mouth.

After he had gotten it in, he placed his hand over her mouth. Forcing her to swallow, the whole process distracted her from what they were doing to her arm. Her body had went numb, was this what he was trying to give her? Or was it her body shutting down? He moved his hand away, allowing her to breath for the moment. He moved to stand behind her head, removing the strap across her forehead slowly. Placing two cold hands on her head, her amber eyes opened widely staring the man in the eyes. It was like everything stopped, her breathing, his movements, her heart. Crack. He had snapped her neck.

_Several Hours Later_

Gasping for air was how she woke up, her body wracked with aches and pains. But this time she was in the dark, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to find two guards standing near the door watching her. Swallowing trying to speak to only find out it burned to, like she had drank a couple bottles of vodka without any type of chaser. One of the guards noticed her shifting form, she wasn't as heavily strapped down like before. So she assumed the worse part was over, but she was so wrong. The lights turned on, jerking her head to the side, her eyes shutting quickly. No pain, well no shoulder pain. Her eyes adjusting to the new lights, it took a couple of seconds, but she saw a couple figures standing in front of her.

The man from before taking a good look at her, she watched his eye roam all over her body. Almost following them to what his eyes locked onto, she glanced down to her right arm. Finding it wasn't an arm, it was metal. It wasn't like anything they've created before, it was mate black with undertones of blue, her fingers slender much like the ones she had before. It was like they made a metal replica of her original arm. She started to breath heavily trying to take everything in, she was so terrified that tears started to form. Running down her cheeks, making her face red under her abundance of freckles around her nose and the area around it.

"Hush child, I've made you the most beautiful creature. You're the best one yet." The most awful smile came with his words, inhaling hard she couldn't figure out what he meant by creature. The man jerked his head looking at the guard, she flinched thinking she would get hit. But that wasn't the case. He pulled out a pocket knife, flipping it open showing the good doctor, then running the blade down his arm. Amber eyes widened watching the scene unfold, biting her lip trying so hard not to cry out for the guard. Swallowing hard, felling the burning in her throat getting worse by the minute. The smell was intoxicating, it almost had the smell of chocolate and homemade sweets.

The man stood there blank faced, blood dripping from his arm, forming a small puddle on the floor. Watching as she shifted in her seat. Why? What is this lovely smell? Everything for the moment went red, her eyes started to shift color. The whites around her eyes started to turn black, slowly moving into the iris and then the pupil. Fangs dropping slightly from her gums, licking her lips as she watched the blood run down the mans arm.

"Good girl, this is what I wanted to see." He wrote something down in a notebook, and looked back at her. "You can have some in a few, if you behave." Kiara's head tilted, the lust for the mans blood was something that has never come before her. And for her to behave to have some? No. With a snap, she had removed her metal arm from the restraint, pulling on the next to free her flesh hand. Standing slowly, trying to get a feel for whatever was happening.

Taking a step, finding herself in front of the guard. A smirk fell apon her lips, her flesh hand grabbing his wrist. Delicate fingers wrapping around the pulse point there, she could hear his heart starting to speed up. Was he afraid of her? Lifting his arm to level it with her lips, her metal hand gripping his shirt holding him in place. Her tongue darted out, licking a stripe of blood from the slit in his arm. Making her body shudder from the taste and the relief of the burn on her throat. Pulling him closer, her metal had moving from his shirt to his neck, she started to close of his airway as she drank from his body. Within minutes, he was dead.

It was almost like a high, it was a euphoric feeling, and part of her wanted to feel it all the time. But a little voice in the back of her head told her no. Her thoughts getting the best of her for the moment, she quickly dropped the man, running her thumb under her lip catching anything that might have slipped past her lush lips. Her head cocked to the side watching, listening, her eyes darted to the men in front of her.

"Now Kiara, please sit back down. We will get you more.." With a shake of her head, she stepped closer to him, now face to face with him. The beat of his heart rapid, she smiled. They were scared of her, and she enjoyed that. Grabbing his shirt much like the guard, but this time, she had shoved the knife into his heart. The sound was starting to give her a headache, she could hear the others as well. Removing the knife from his chest, placing the blade to her tongue tasting his blood. That euphoric feeling coming back, she turned slaughtering the rest of the people in the room. 

Kiara had found herself sitting on the floor, casually licking one of her fingers. Quickly shaking her head, that feeling was gone now it was like she felt empty inside. Or was it guilt? She pushed herself off the ground to only look around, blood was everywhere. "What?" She was now looking down at her hands, finding blood covering one completely, and another dark as night, like metal. So what happened wasn't a dream? Or was she still in it?


	3. Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad some of yall are enjoying it!

Kiara's breath started to hitch, her throat burning the more she stood in the room. It was almost like her body was telling her to drink it off the floor, she wasn't that primitive. Hopefully. Red still filled her eyes, and a headache racking her brain. Reaching to touch the side of her head, glancing around the room of dead bodies. What was she looking for? Life, a expiation? She wasn't going to get any of that from these dead bodies, or was she?

Pain surged through her head, she started to keel over. Her metal hand holding her up by the table next to her, her eyes darkened with each pain. With that visions, little tid bits of memories, not only of her own, but of the men she killed. Their families, parents, and the what they were feeling before they died. Hot tears ran down her face, she slowly slid down the wall holding her head in both hands. Why? Kiara was now sobbing though the pain and memories, her heart beating so fast she couldn't believe it could actually beat that fast. The sound ringing in her ears, the sounds of the people she was faced with. And the memories they had.

After several minutes, it all stopped. Taking a shaky breath, she pushed herself from the flood using the wall for support. What was she? She turned her head, trying to find anything to tell her what she was. Well what she has now become, she could eventually get over the arm. But the monster, she couldn't. Even if they were HYDRA, guilt started to hit her where it hurt. Her flesh hand holding onto her new shoulder, as she walked the room, her other hand had moved under her elbow. She was holding herself, she was so exposed. Being in only a tank top, and boy short underwear.

Kiara only moved her hand away from herself to search, she found a folder, labeled with her name, and a book. It looked like something that had come out of a fairy tail, it was jet black. Inscribed in some other language. Squinting her eyes, attempting to read it but she couldn't. Opening the book finding everything on the inside was written in Romanian, with a sigh she closed it. She would have to learn how to read it. Or well, find someone she could trust to translate it. With the book, and the folder in her hands, she continued to look around more.

Finding nothing else of interest, placing everything on the table she moved to the good doctor searching thought his pockets. A joyous noise came from her then, she had found his cellphone. She placed it with the rest of the stuff, she had remembered everyone's phone number by memory she would have to call someone. Maybe Tony first? Or maybe no one. She couldn't go home a mess, unknown of what she is. Not without getting someone to at least help her figure it out.

Chewing on the inside of her lip, she hadn't really left the room. Fear of what she was, and what she would do to the next person she saw. Turning only slightly, there was a two way mirror in the room. She didn't notice it at first. The one thing she didn't notice, was her refection. Her eyes were dark as night, her skin pale like the moon. Well, she was pale in the first place. But not this bad. Looking to her new arm, it had scars reaching to her neck. The metal stretched over her shoulder, and almost to her neck. They took away the freckles she so desperately loved from her shoulder, but the scars is what bothered her the most.

They looked red, angry, and it looked way to healed to even have any scars. Looking at her refection made her stomach turn, was she going to be like this from now on. So unnatural, so monster like? Shaking her head then, tears falling down her cheeks again. Jesus, she needed to stop crying, but she couldn't. It was like her emotions were heightened. Moving to one of the guards then, grabbing his key card, and grabbing all of the things shed ever need.

Leaving the room was a good idea, she felt relief wash over her body, the burning in her throat still there. But it wasn't as bad like it was in the room. From the memories she followed a hallway to find all of her stuff, it was in some sort of small locker room. Was she in a school? Shrugging her shoulders, she slowly pushed the door hoping no one was in there. Nodding to herself then she had walked in, finding her bag, and all of her clothes.

"Thank god, at least they kept my stuff." She spoke to herself, then pursed her lips.

Caught up this time, she started to search though her stuff. Once she found what she wanted, she shoved everything into her bag. Turning to find herself faced with yet another mirror, her stomach turned, her breathing stopped for the moment. Had she really not noticed the blood before? How could she not? Was it whatever made her eyes change color? She felt as if she was going to vomit, but too afraid to. There was just so much blood, she was caked in it. Quickly she shut her eyes, trying to calm herself before she did something stupid.

Looking down at her feet, seeing that they too had blood on them. She moved to get away from anything that showed what she looked like, using stray towels to cover it. She wasn't going to break it, she could end up attracting attention she didn't want. Moving to the small shower room, with things she stole from the men, using this time to clean the blood from her hair, and the rest of her body. Looking down at the drain, watching it run from her and down, slowly it had went from dark red to pink, then clear. Her stomach was covered by a scar, traveling from her right hip, over her navel, stopping just under her ribbs. When did she get that? Her hands roamed finding more scars other then the ones on her shoulder.

"Did they cut me open?" Kiara spoke, but it was nothing more then a whisper. And it was again, to herself.

After her long but upsetting shower, she had dried her hair, and gotten dressed. Covering her metal arm, and the scars that followed. Pulling on Steve's jacket, oh Jesus. It smelled wonderful, how was it now that she just noticed? Zipping it up half way, burring her face into some of the fabric. "It smells of lilac, and blue berries. What did they do to me?" She was talking to herself again. The only way she could reassure herself she was real, not just some fucked up dream.

Picking up the phone, she sat there for a moment trying to figure out what she wanted to do. After several minutes, she decided. Dialing Tony's number, she started to chew on her bottom lip. It was like a pacifier for her now extreme form of anxiety. It rung a couple times, maybe even too long for her liking then an answer.

"Hello? Whoever this is, I'm not in the mood. Please fuck off." She could hear his anger, and the movement as he started to move his phone from his face.

"Don't hang up, please.." Her voice was strained, she was almost in tears.

"Kiara?"

"Yes."

"Jesus, where the hell are you? I'm going to trace this call." Clicking from the other side of the line started, she started to shake her head.

"No! Please, don't come looking for me. I'm not me.. Anymore. Please, just don't. I don't want to hurt anyone, not you, not Steve, or Nat."

"I don't care, you're coming home! Where you'll be safe!" Kiara flinched at his words, she wasn't ready to come back. And she wasn't planning on taking the phone with her, she didn't need him to find her. She didn't want to come home a Monster.

"I will leave you something here.. I'm not coming home, I'll do something I will regret. Please, understand." Anger and pain radiated from her voice, it made Tony quiet. But he was still typing at his keyboard, hearing Nat who was not to far from him.

"Just please, find out what it says. There are copies, I don't know what they did... But I'm not human." She let those words soak in, she wasn't human anymore. Hearing him speak but it not comprehending in her head, she placed the phone down on some document's. Swallowing hard trying to hold back more tears, she knew this was going to break him. But she was also broken, she would never be able to face him, anyone. Following the memories again, she found her way out of the compound. It had seemed that they were truly the only ones who worked at this one. Placing the beanie on her head, and the hood up over it. Bracing herself for the cold, but she wasn't cold. The wind was making the snow swirl, and she didn't once flinch at the weather.


	4. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the hold up, Ive been going through some shit.  
> So here's the next chapter!  
> Thanks for the Kudos and love! <3

_Romania, Transylvania  
8 PM_

Here Kiara was stepping out of a train, into a little rule town in Romania. Well, the known part for people that might be like her. She had been looking into the book since she got on the train back in Russia, she started to pick up on the language just enough to start reading it. But it wasn't enough for her to translate it well. Pursing her lips she started forward, she was in knee deep snow. She wasn't cold, she wasn't shivering, but her shoulder hurt more then anything else. It was painful, even for what she was, or could be. But she had been trying to avoid anyone and everyone. No more hurting people, despite how much it hurt to be around others.

The feeling of ripping their throat out, drinking that hot liquid that spilled from the body. She couldn't do it, but she needed the self control if she needed to find her way back to Tony, and everyone else. Trudging through the snow she found a small town, it was small, had a bar, a market, and some houses. Nothing really much, but the one thing that did stand out was the castle on the mountain. It was insisting, almost as if it was calling to her. Biting down on her lower lip she decided to say holed up in the bar, she pushed the door open slowly to see an old man, and a couple of back packers. Then one man in the corner that was eyeing her carefully.

Did he know what she was, she pulled her jacket closer to cover herself, and fixing it so no one could see her arm. Picking a seat at the other end of the bar, trying to stay away from anyone that might be willing to talk to her. Well, other then the waitress. "Bourbon.. A bottle, with a glass of ice." The girl nodded as she quickly moved to grab what she wanted, and came back at the right pace. Money already placed out for her, which she squealed with joy.

Pouring herself a glass and taking sips, this seemed to be the only thing that took the edge off. It wasn't enough though. After about five minutes of drinking, she decided to pull out the book and try to read it again. A brow furrowed as she read, she was getting so angry she wanted to punch someone in the face. Gripping the glass in her hand as she read wasn't the smartest thing she should've done, it was starting to crack with her rage. Until a young man came to sit in front of her, removing the glass from her hand like she wasn't even gripping it like it was her life line. Her amber eyes darted from the book to the man, her metal hand reaching for the knife in her jacket. She was well prepared to attack. 

"Calmează- am obiceiul lua (Calm down I wont take it away)" The man spoke quietly, it was like he wasn't trying to attract any attention.

"I didn't fully catch that..." Raising a brow as she reached for her glass, placing her fingers just around the top ready to rip it from his hands. But he only smirked and let go of the glass, allowing her to slide it back to her side.

"Pot traduce asta pentru tine , dacă nu este privat? (I can translate that for you, unless it is private?)" He pointed to the book. She quickly slid it back further from the man, she picked up on key words, but it wasn't enough to understand. But the pointing at the book, she didn't want this man to find out she's some sort of monster.

"I wont hurt you." Her face scrunched when he spoke English. "Why do you want to help me?" Her head tilted as she spoke.

"You look lost, and scared. I figured you needed a friend, or a translator.." His baby blue eyes shown in the little light that was there, she pulled the book a little closer, trying to protect it. She didn't know what his intentions were. She didn't know this man, he could be a murder, rapist, some guy just hitting on her. But at least he was good looking, stubble, some freckles, and those blue eyes. He could be in shape, she couldn't tell under his heavy jacket and the way he sat. 

"Not going to talk? Or are you wary of me? I can help you, most people in this town come here for the castle and the folk lore." He leaned back in his chair, and she loosened her grip on the book. Watching him carefully, she wasn't sure what he was trying to say.

"Wary, I have issues trusting people."

"Understandable, I wouldn't blame you. It looks like you've been through hell and back, unless you truly went to hell and came back. Like I said, I can translate that or is it private?"

"You ask a lot of questions. Why are you so interested in what I'm reading?"

"The look on your face gave it away, you can catch some of it. But not all of it.. I've also seen that book before, with some people that came here about four months ago." Her eyes widened with what he said, so Hydra did come here to bring whatever they had, to turn her into this thing. This monster.

"Men in lab coats, people with guns? Hydra." She pulled a picture of the symbol to show the man, her face hard, she was serious now. She wanted to know what he knew, if he did know what she was. Would he be willing to help? Teach her to control herself, or maybe to kill her? Burn her, that was one of the ways she heard it could happen. Out of her daze, she saw him nod. So he did see them.

"What is this book then?!" Her voice raised an octive trying to control her rage, but it was like she was on some emotional roller coaster.

"Book of Death, meaning the book of the Strigoi."

"Strigoi? I've seen that word all over this book, I cant find a god damn thing about it!" He started to move closer to her, attempting to make her calm making hushing noises. She noticed she attracted some attention from some of the people in the bar.

"Yes. Now, please lets not talk so loudly about it here." He was truly whispering now, barely loud enough for a mouse to hear. But she could.

"What does it mean then?"

"It means many things. They are the troubled spirits of the dead rising from the grave. Some strigoi can be living people with certain magical properties. Some of the properties of the strigoi include: the ability to transform into an animal, invisibility, and the propensity to drain the vitality of victims via blood loss." Still as quiet as a mouse, but she listened, waited for him to finish. It was like he was hesitating to say what he wanted.

" _Vampire_ that's what it means, you have heard of them right? Books, and movies. They are afraid of the sun, holy water, crosses, and garlic. Most cant see themselves in mirrors, but then again, its all folk lore." She was gripping the edge of her seat, she was terrified, she had read things about them, she just didn't think it was real. But most of the thing he stated didn't bother her, the sun was fine, the garlic didn't bother her. She had eaten just to curve the edge, and to make the burning stop. Like the bourbon, it only helped but so much. Everything snapped to reality when she heard a snap, it was the wood on her chair. She was actually gripping the edge of her seat, it was all starting to make sense.

" _Vampre_ " Lips trembling, tears almost forcing their way over her cheeks, she couldn't be. That was impossible, things like that weren't real. Or were they? Thor was real, so was Steve, the work of a super serum, maybe anything could be possible. She hadn't even noticed, the man had moved from in front of her to sit next to her, placing a hand over her metal one. She flinched, she didn't even know he was there at first.

"I didn't mean to upset you, but that's what you're reading about.." He leaned closer, only to hear her breath hitch. She didn't like him that close, she could rip this throat out. Biting down on her lip, trying to control herself as he started to look through the book. He was saying something, there were supposedly notes, with her name, date, and what they were planning to do with her. Before he could even speak, she started to shake, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Yes, they did that to me. I never wanted it, but it happened. Please, don't burn me.." She was almost mumbling now, so close to just sobbing into this random man she didn't know. He placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, he smelt so interesting, like whisky, and wild flowers. He pulled the hood up on her jacket, to cover her face from the tears she had let go. He just let her cry, not saying a single word. He was writing in the notebook she had, the empty one. He started to write down anything she couldn't understand, which was everything. This went on for an hour, just sniffling, she was so tried of crying, for being a mess.

A sigh escaped her lips, as she leaned forward placing her head on the table. The scratching of pen a paper was giving her a headache, but she just listened.

Another hour passed, he was finally done writing, and they were the last ones in there. Even the bar keeper had left, which made her raise a brow. Wiping her face with her sleeve she looked at him. 

"All done.. I wrote everything down you need to know. Being really emotional is apart of it.." He had pursed his lips, it was almost as if he knew what she was going though.

"Why?" Biting the inside of her lip, trying so hard not to cry again.

"Cause, I had a sister. Lost to the stirgoi, by Hydra. I wont let someone else be alone in this." A hand placed on her shoulder, he was getting up now, starting to stretch. He didn't have to do all of that, she felt ashamed at the whole thing.

"Thank you, I'm sorry I kept you here all night."

"You're welcome. Stay here tonight, I own the tavern. My name is Marcus."

"Kiara, and thank you again. I'll get out of here now that I know whats going on."

"No take all the time you need, you are stressed, scared, and in a new place. My home, is you're home." With that he walked upstairs to his built in room, she just sat there staring at the door, no idea what to do. Or where to go next. But for now, she needed some sort of sleep. Setting up a sleeping bag in the corner with her bourbon, and her bag, reading the translated version of it until she passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the support!  
> I'll keep posting as much as possible!  
> Oh and Orange is the New Black, a must watch! <3

_6 Months Later_

Kiara had found a place in the time from meeting Marcus, and finding out what she was. It was hard, very hard. She didn't expect her life to be so complicated, seeing people, walking amongst them. It pained her, made her skin crawl, and her throat burn. Mostly drinking, that numbed her thoughts, killed that urge to call people she oh so missed. What was keeping her awake, was the nightmares, she woke every night screaming, with hot tears running down her face. 

The pain was too much to handle, but Marcus was always around to remind her she could do it. He wasn't going to let what happen to his sister, happen to her. Though she couldn't blame him, she was scared, she didn't want him involved anymore. She didn't want to be the reason for his death, if she happened to slip up. It even seemed like the people in the town knew of what she was, even if she could walk in daylight. She could walk it, but too exposed she would just start to get red. No burning, like an actual sun burn. She wasn't one hundred percent invincible with the sun, she just had to watch what she wore. 

Even picked up a small job at Marcus bar, she served and bartended. Within the six months, she was picking up the language so well. She forgot she could even speak English at times, but someone would talk to her normally without knowing she could speak their tongues. No one really asked about her arm, people didn't really seem to notice honestly. She was thankful for that, there was a lot of things she could be happy about. But the thought of Tony freaking out and trying so hard to find her, it made her sick to her stomach.

The more she worked for Marcus, the more it tore her away from everything. He was very kind, he didn't need help at the bar, but he knew she needed something to distract her. Money wasn't an issue, she had taken out a bunch of money when she escaped from Hydra. Tossing the card, her phone and everything away. Just to protect the people she cared about. Tony, Steve, Nat, even Pepper. But she couldn't be distracted by that anymore, she had a new life. She couldn't have friends, she needed to start over. So this is where she would. Six months later, hoping they had forgotten about her.

But they didn't..

A semi busy night at the bar, Marcus was talking to costumers. She was taking drink orders, watching the bar at the same time. Kiara had felt out of it for the past couple days, her guard dropping. Not getting any sleep, not enough to keep her functioning, and without the blood. It was putting her on edge, she was lashing out at people, growling at Marcus, it was wrong of her but he knew what was wrong. He dealt with the rude people, and she stuck to tourist and regulars. 

But one man was holding her interest, she couldn't place the face. She felt like she's seen it before, but it had been so long. His steal blue eyes piercing into her amber ones, he just watched her from the corner of the bar. Not ordering, not speaking, she was afraid he was Hydra. Maybe he was, she hadn't even noticed him until Marcus had gotten him a beer. She shook her head for a second and sighed, she turned to walk back behind the bar to watch. Marcus could handle it, she was just a watcher, and a beer hander.

Pursing her lips she looked back at the man in the corner, who wasn't there anymore. Amber eyes widened, and her hands on the bar top clenched. She was scared now, she didn't want to be found and drug back into that hell hole. Turning her head to find him placing a seat on the stool in front of her. Knuckles turning white as she gripped the counter, forcing a smile as he sat. Now she got to see him close up, that face, his stubble, angled jaw, those steel blue eyes. She knew him, from where though?

With a raised brow he just smirked, with that she tilted her head, he short wavy hair shifting with the movement. A still forced smile on her face, she didn't know if he was going to say something or just sit there.

"Would you like a beer?" A bigger smile formed on his face as she handed him the beer.

"So you do speak English?" He took a sip of the beer waiting for her to answer, she pursed her lips regretting talking to him normally. He just didn't look like the type who could speak it, she leaned back to prevent herself from getting to close. She wasn't about killing someone tonight.

"Yes, but I can speak Romanian as well.."

"So, what's a pretty dame like yourself doing in a small town like this?" Biting her bottom lip, trying to figure out how she was going to answer his question, crossing her arms over her chest in the process.

"Running away from my problems, what else is there to do here?" He ran his fingers through his hair, as he took a sip of his beer. Metal whirling under his jacket, clenching her jaw her eyes narrowing then. That sound, it sounded just like her arm did. One other person had been through the shit she has, and this couldn't be him. He was in cryo out in Wakanda with Steve and T'Challa, he would never ask for his help. Tony hated him more then he hated any other person in the world. Her knuckles turning white as she clenched her flesh hand closed. Why? He didn't need to be here, there was no reason for him to be looking for her.

Would've found her months ago, he was a master assassin. If she was his mission, he could've found her a while ago. Her teeth sinking into her lip, she refused to look up, he knew exactly who she was, he was toying with her. There was a form of rage building up in her, one of blood lust, and just straight anger. But he was watching her, seeing her fall apart, breaking the skin on her lip, watching as a small dribble of blood fell from her lips. Before he could reach her, she had recoiled and whipped away the blood with her sleeve. 

"Kiara, please come home..." Amber eyes glared from under her bangs, she wanted to, but she didn't want to hurt the people she cared about.

"I-I cant, and you cant make me.. Everyone will be safer, if I'm here." You could hear the pain in her voice, she was trying so hard not to just bolt out the door. Leaving this whole place behind and start again, but she figure he would find her, over, and over.

"Tony, he's.. Been so worried, Steve has been too.." Shaking her head she backed up more to secure herself behind the bar top further, but something caught her attention. The smell of blood, someone had started a fight in the bar, glass and blood everywhere. It wasn't gushing, it was a small gash, nothing that would hurt the person. But it was making her throat burn, and Marcus had noticed the look in her eyes, and so had the man in front of her.

Amber eyes glowed, only slightly then started to shift in color, she turned her head not breathing. If she couldn't smell it, she wouldn't be able to kill anyone. Her hands were attached to the back of the bar, nearly cracking the wood under her metal hand, her flesh hand lightly placed around her throat. 

_Don't, stop, please, just make it all go away!_ Her thoughts were screaming for her to pounce, it was taking everything she had to control herself. There were voices, but since she had stopped breathing, she could hear the bleeding mans heart beat, his ragged breathing. Everything was being tuned out, people must have been talking to her, but she wasn't paying attention, until a hand was placed on her metal hand.

Pulled into a hug the next second, that was one of the worse things someone could've done, and they god damn did it. A hand placed on the back of her head pushing her face into his chest, she was almost tall enough to rest her head into the crook of his neck. Blood was drawn from her lip as she bit down, she needed the smell to distract her. But the smell of familiarity brought her back, almost. Glancing back up she looked right into his steal blue eyes, and he into her shifting black ones. No look of shock, just pain, like he was in pain for her.

"B-Bucky.. I.." 

"Need to go right? Let's get you out of here.." He scooped her up and started to walk out of the bar, he finally stopped when his boots crunched in the snow. Placing her down, it was like as if she was a statue, she couldn't move. Afraid that she would turn back around and go right back in, these people were already scared of her. She didn't want to ruin her chances, it would destroy her humanity. Refusing to look up at him, at anything but the snow under her shoes, she one cold and one hot hand on her face. Trying so hard to bring the light back into her eyes, she couldn't go home like this. Moving her flesh hand to his metal hand, she looked up tears running down her cheeks, lip quivering, her eyes narrowed so he couldn't see the monster she was.

"Hey doll, it's okay.. Shh, its okay.." Whipping tears from her face, she could kill him here. Right fucking here. She wouldn't hesitate, but it seems like other people thought of that as well. The smell of America, mostly blue berries, and after shave filled her senses. Shutting her eyes quickly recoiling from Bucky, she figured he'd be here. Why would she think otherwise.

"Steve wait, I have it handled."

"Go. Away."

"Why? So you can suffer by yourself? Waking up screaming from nightmares? Come home.." Steve spoke, she could hear the pain in his voice.

"Why? WHY! Because.. Every day I'm afraid of killing someone important.. Letting my senses take over, I-I.. Killed everyone. Back at that base, yes it was torture.. They had family! Kids, wives!!! Would you want a monster like me to come back to New York?!" She was doubled over, sobbing now, Bucky stood in front of her, trying to figure out if he wanted to hug her or let her be on her own. They both watched as she sobbed, both so unknown of what had truly happened. Only a small amount of information was given, not the full story.

Sobs then turned to fits of laughter, she couldn't control it anymore, she rolled up her sleeve pulling out a pocket knife. They both stepped forward, Bucky being the closest to her, he tried to take the knife but she just smacked his hand away like it was a fly. Pushing the knife into her skin, making a long red strip up her arm. As soon as she was done, it was starting to heal, much faster to what Steve and Bucky heal.

"I-I can't die! I live off of blood! I could kill a person with a look, and have them drained in a second! Did he tell you anything?!?!"

"We can fix it." 

"No you can't!"

"Kiara you don't know that!" Steve had moved next to Bucky, they were ready for anything. For her to run, to just drop, or maybe even attack.

"I know.. You know what else.." She rolled pulled her glove from her metal hand, then rolled up the sleeve. "They took my arm.. Awake, nothing to numb the pain.. Then forced me to drink blood, and then.. Broke. My. Neck."

"I wake up screaming because of that! I don't come home because I cant trust myself!" Bucky knew how she felt, well, knew about the arm, and how she didn't feel like anyone would be safe around her. Her eyes now matched theirs, the blood smell still fresh in her mind. Her eyes dark as the night sky, as she looked at both of them. They were no longer the color of amber that Steve had grown to love, but this dark void, he couldn't tell what she was feeling. The only thing that threw them off was the fact she was crying again, her emotions seemed so unstable, maybe they couldn't take her home. Or they could, maybe she would be better with people that cared for her.

Before he knew it, Bucky had pulled her into a hug. Her face in the crook of his neck, she had wrapped her arms around his body the best she could. Clutching for dear life, maybe his sent, or even the hug would make everything go away, but it didn't. And it didn't help that he wanted to help her.

" _Go ahead_ "

"Bucky! Wait, if she can't control herself, she'll kill you!"

"I trust her.. And we are fairly indestructible, being a super soilder and all... Doll, it's okay."

With that he placed a hand on the back of her head, pushing her closer to him. Her senses taking over, she nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck, her lips brushing ever so softly on his neck. It sent a shiver down his back, and he bit down on his lip waiting. She took a deep breath, taking in his sent, then sinking her fangs into his neck, as gently as she could. He grunted dropping down to one knee as she drank from him, she was gripping his shirt as if he was going to run away.

"Shh, everything's okay.. Get as much as you need doll, you need this to feel better." He held her closer, tears were still falling down her face with the whole interaction.

After a couple minutes Steve started to get nervous, he was so worried shed kill him. He wasn't going to loose him, but a sigh escaped Bucky's lips as she removed herself from him. A half lidded look on her eyes, almost as if she was in a blissful high. Nothing anyone else would understand, and she was finally feeling like herself again. To some extent, but she felt so amazing, almost as if she could pass out right here, right now.

Which actually happened, she was blissfully asleep in Bucky's arms. Steve had talked to Marcus finding out where she lived grabbing her stuff, and learning some useful information about what had happened. They hopped on the Quinjet and headed back to New York, hoping she wouldn't wake up before they got back.


	6. Chapter 6

_48 Hours Later New York City_

Amber eyes sprung open, a gasp escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around herself and the blankets she was under. They were so soft, comforting, like she was home. Blinking once her eyes adjusted to the darkness, rolling over finding a pillow was laid next to her. A brow raised, how did she get here? She couldn't remember much, it was like her thoughts were all messed up, messed up memories. Pulling the blankets closer she closed her eyes tight, trying to pull herself together. Who's memories was she seeing? Pain, torture, memory loss, she bit her lip. She knew who's they were now. Bucky. She drank from him, how long had she been out? And was it really long enough for them to make it all the way home?

Kiara tangled herself up in the sheets pulling the pillow next to her close, she didn't want to be here. Not the monster Hydra turned her into. Pressing her face into the pillow hoping it would suffocate her, but she couldn't die from that. Nope, not even if she tried hard enough. But she laid there, for who knows how long before someone decided to walk in. Unmoving she just waited, they walked in placing a cup next to her bed. It wasn't Bucky or Steve, the foot steps were too sloppy to be either of them.

Then a hand was placed on the pillow next to her, and a light kiss placed on her temple. It was Tony, she shifted to play it off like she was still asleep. With a sigh Tony left. Lifting her head she leaned against her arm propped up on the bed, she stared at the door. He had to be worried about her, if he wasn't he wouldn't have asked Bucky or Steve to find her. Maybe this was their truce, or maybe this was the one favor he needed to make amends.

Rubbing her hand over her face, then into her short locks. She was actually stressed out by being back here, she could snap, kill someone. She could've killed Bucky back in Romania, but some how she didn't. Chewing on the inside of her lip, she was nervous. FRIDAY would know she was awake, most likely told Tony, but he would've been back by now. Sighing she threw the blankets off of her legs, and to the other side of the bed getting up and heading to the bathroom. Turning on the light made her flinch, it was way too bright, and her eyes needed to adjust. The one thing she wasn't prepared for was the mirror, she looked like she had been through hell and back. Which she had.

But that was no excuse.. The dark circles almost black, her amber eyes were dull, and her hair was a matted mess. Maybe it was from the lack of sleeping she looked like that, but it wasn't. The lack of taking care of herself did that, no blood, only bourbon and regular food. It wasn't bad for her, but it didn't help much. Taking a closer look at herself she pursed her lips, they were slightly cracked from being so dry, and the freckles on her face seemed to be dull in color. Her hair short, a little pas her chin, in short waves dark roots, they were almost black, and the ends of her hair Red. She looked sickly. It made her sick.

With that, she decided she was going to take a shower. Which made everything worse, the scars on her body that were there before she turned into this monster looked red and irritated. Running her hands over them just made her feel like she truly wasn't human before that, more so now. But the one thing that seemed to still stand out, was her lovely freckles, they were all over her body much like glitter would be everywhere. They followed every curve of her body, and the lovely curve of her breast. With a heavy sigh, she covered the mirror with an extra towel.

The more she stared the longer it would take to get into the shower. She preceded to get into the steamy water, it felt so nice against her skin, but at the same time it was like it wasn't hot enough. She needed to wash off the dirt, only if she could remove the dirt from her mind as well. She would be set, if she could forget. She stayed in the water until the water went cold, getting out and hair drying her hair with the towel walking around her room to find something to wear.

It didn't surprise her that all of her clothes were here, she pursed her lips looking through her clothes. Black leggings, she nodded felling like that was a good choice. A long sleeve shirt, just incase they didn't know about the mild sun problem, but the shirt was a nice navy blue shade, it hung off of her shoulders just a little. A tank top showed under it, and the sleeves reached to her fingertips. It was exactly how she always dressed, slipping on her combat boots half ass. No tying them, it took too much effort.

She caught herself in the mirror in front of the door, she didn't look as bad. Less tired, it looked like the shower helped a little. Shrugging she opened the door slowly, taking a deep breath as she stepped out of the room. Looking both ways down the hallway, she was on some floor of the Tower she couldn't remember. But if she wanted to find everyone, she knew exactly where they were. Turning towards the elevator she was there before she could even think about it. 

Right, she had to remember to control that. Speed, something she wasn't use too. But she stepped into the elevator, watching the metal doors close.

"Miss. Stark. Welcome home, what floor?" Friday spoke, she ran her fingers through her hair and sighed again.

"Whatever floor everyone else is on.. And it's nice to hear your voice Friday."

"Yes ma'am. I missed yours as well.." The elevator moved up, the only thing she could pay attention to was the sound of metal grinding as the elevator moved. Of course with great hearing, she could, but normally this was a very quiet ride. Not today, and it will never be until she learns to tune it out. Then the sound of heart beats, and some new ones, everyone was here. Nat, Sam, Clint, Bucky, Steve, Wanda, Vision, another she didn't know, then Tony. The smell of bourbon filled her senses, the smell of aftershave, and a mix of other things. 

It was almost overloading her, but she did her best to ignore it all. Soon after the doors slid open, it was the longest ride of her life. Her hands were shaking, the people she oh so desperately wanted to see were here. But she was also afraid of hurting them. Still standing in the elevator, everyone was quiet, they didn't know who it was, but they watched the hallway waiting. Bucky and Steve more nervous then everyone else, first hand seeing what she was.

Her metal hand held her other, she was clutching them, and pulling at her sleeves. She didn't have it fully covered, she wasn't ready, she couldn't even look up from the floor. Amber eyes almost over flowing with tears, then she saw boots in front of hers, and hands holding hers. One metal, one flesh, just like herself. Bucky. He was here to save the day again, he wasn't doing it on porpoise but he probably figured she was panicked. That was the best guess anyone could have.

"Doll, everyone is waiting for you." He squeezed her hands trying to get her to look up, but she only bit her lower lip. So nervous, she didn't want to screw up, she didn't want to scare anyone. "Come on.." He had started to pull her from the elevator and down the hallway. Her hand never leaving his, she only moved as fast as Bucky did. Not with super speed, just staring at the back of his head.

Finally making it into the room, he let go of her hand and stood behind her, so she couldn't run away. But she could probably out run him, the windows started to darken, she shook her head then. They didn't need to do that, but she wasn't going to argue. The lights started to brighten in the room. Her pupils blown for the moment to adjust to the light change, and then back to normal. The first person she saw, was Tony. He looked like a mess, like he hadn't been sleeping, spending most of his nights drinking, and playing with his iron man suits.

Tears started to form, she just looked at him, and he at her. Ignoring almost everyone else in the room, he had started to walk towards her, and she stepped slowly towards him. Finally reaching her, he pulled her into the tightest hug, her chin resting on his shoulder as she clutched his shirt hugging him back.

"Kiara! I thought you were dead.." The pain in his voice was so clear it hurt, he pulled back placing his hands on her shoulders looking her in the eyes. Like he was trying to understand why she did it, but the look in his eyes showed that he couldn't. 

"Technically.. I am.." He rubbed his eyes and sighed then, leaving on hand on her shoulder trying to figure out how to respond to that. She was taken aback by that, his heart was racing, did he even read anything she left him. Her feelings of sadness was turning into rage, her lip twitched and it seemed like Tony was the only one that didn't notice the shift in her mood. Bucky and Steve were ready to do whatever to prevent her from messing up, but Tony wasn't making anything easier. 

"What do you mean?" A glare formed on her face, Nat moved closer to the two ready to pull Tony away.

"The fuck? Did you read anything I left you? Cause if you did, you wouldn't be asking me what I mean. You should've left me in Romania if you didn't bother to even try to understand." She had pushed his hand off of her shoulder, backing up so she wouldn't lash out. Her hands were clenched into fists, she wanted to run. Leave, she shouldn't have come home. They should have never brought her back.

"I understand."

"Do you? Cause it seems like you are unaware!" 

"I'm not, I-I.." 

"Stop pretending like you know! You don't know what happened! I was trying to protect everyone! But no, you brought me back home. Everyone unaware of what I am now, and the only people who understand is Bucky and Steve! Because they saw it, did you even look at the footage of the base. I know you guys had to start there right?!" Her voice cracked, tears started to run down her cheeks, he didn't want to understand. And if he did, maybe he still wouldn't understand. She looked around the room, everyone was on edge, she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.

Bucky was standing behind her trying to figure out a way to show them, but almost afraid to. Unknown of how they would react, would they treat her like they did him? Lock her up, strap her down? He couldn't risk it, but if he wanted Tony to understand. It had to happen. He pulled at the neck of his shirt as he walked next to Kiara, she didn't move, didn't react. Just watched. Tony was looking at him, then his eyes darted at the marks on his neck, they were almost scars now. She had even looked, she really tore his neck, not literally, but she felt so bad. 

"I'm so sorry Buck.." It was barely above a whisper, but it caught his attention, and also Tony's. His eyes darted between the two, either gears were turning, or he still didn't understand. Maybe she needed him to see, maybe.. Would he be able to handle it? Most likely not. Then the tapping of Nat's fingers on a keyboard caught her attention, maybe she was going to show him what had really happened. A video popped up on the huge TV in the room, her eyes narrowed as the rest of them watched. 

Everything from that couple of days was shown to all of them, they had even recorded their plans. Screams, whispers from the doctors, and then more screams of pain. The one part that made her look was her voice, it was normal but the thing that looked back wasn't her. It was the monster they created. Eyes glued to the screen, tears started again, she shouldn't even be watching it, she had nightmares of it every night. It was still very fresh in her own memories. But it was so different from someone else's perspective.

"Turn it off." Wanda had spoken up then, she could feel the distress off of everyone in the room. And mostly from Kiara, the pain that wracked her body. Watching it was almost as if she was reliving it over again. Wanda had moved forward to comfort the girl, she recoiled and she grabbed her hands anyways. Trying her best to show she wasn't afraid of her, at least five of them weren't. The ones that were, they wouldn't dare look her way. Vision was keeping to himself, Sam didn't know what to say, but he would be there to help anyway he could.

Steve had made up his mind the minute he saw it, he'd be there to help, no matter what. And Bucky, he was already giving off the feeling like he wanted to take the pain away. Then Tony looked her way, the feeling of anger, but uneasy washed over her. Before anyone could stop what he was going to say, Kiara had tried to move closer to get something from her Father. Anything, from the one man that raised her, took care of her when she was sick, heart broken, and lost.

But today he couldn't even look at his daughter. Not anymore, he was afraid of her. Kiara reached for him and he recoiled, her metal fist closing the joints making a light whirling noise. Her bottom lip was shaking, and her eyes already had tears in it. She was being left behind, left alone to fight this without her Father. Pain wracked her body, her hand falling to her side as she backed up. She just lost the one person who she always went to for help, a shoulder to cry on. But she didn't even have that.

She had stepped back into Bucky, he was like a god damn brick wall, and Wanda was reaching for her trying to keep her here. Maybe he just needed a moment, maybe. Or she could be so wrong, and she could be locked up and left there for the rest of her life. But she couldn't be there anymore, the tension in the room was making her stomach flip, or it was the lack of feeding she did. Bucky placed his hands on her arms, trying so hard to get her attention.

He did get it, the only thing he got was a small gush of wind. She ran, she ran all the way back to her floor. No elevator, it was so much faster, and the noise from the elevator wouldn't be there to bother her this time. When she had finally made it to her room she dropped to her knees, the door slowly shutting behind her, then she fell forward, her hands catching her so she wouldn't face plant. Her head in her hands as she sobbed, she was just some monster.

Not that child he raised, the one that graduated collage when she was twenty, then went into the army to make something of herself. Sliding lower to the floor she was now on her side, pulling the blankets from the bed down onto her. She continued to sob and shake, she was loosing her mind. If this is what they wanted to make, well they made it. And she would never be able to get back to the way she was, she stayed like that for hours until she couldn't produce tears anymore. They were just dry sobs, and heavy breathing. 

A knock came to her door, she had it locked so no one could bother her. She heard voices, they were quiet but she could tell who it was. Wanda, Steve, Sam, and Bucky. They were trying to check on her, but she refused to let them in. To let anyone in. Her mind was lost for hours, maybe tomorrow she would let someone in.

**Author's Note:**

> Until next time!


End file.
